Metaphors, Stories, Humor and Linguistic Changes

I may not officially be a counselor at this point, but I feel like I do a lot of counseling with the students I interact with on a daily basis.  Several of these students I have had in class for multiple years and they feel comfortable enough to seek me out for guidance.  And, inevitably in a class of 25 teenagers, there will be frequent teachable moments that require a teacher to step into the role of counselor to help a student or a class to make sense of the daily grind.

I often hear students express that they feel uncomfortable because of their different beliefs, values or upbringings.  In a classroom, there is a meshing of individuals from diverse walks of life.  It is not uncommon to have several students that feel they don't fit in anywhere.  Some of these students feel like they cannot have the success of others because they are different.  I often find myself comparing happiness to a mountain top with these students.  Happiness is at the peak of the mountain.  Every student in my class can be successful and find fulfillment, but they may take different paths to reach this pinnacle of life.  The diversity of the paths that students take to success and happiness does not determine the value of the journey.  I have used this metaphor with students who differ in values, upbringings, religions or career goals.

Another saying that I have recently adopted and passed onto students is "bless it and let it go."  Our former principal used this saying a lot and at first I thought it was very cliche.  But over time, the value of this approach began to make sense to me.  There are circumstances and events beyond our control.  Sometimes we give it our best effort and the outcome is not what we had sought.  This is a frustrating experience, but beyond our control.  Acknowledging our lack of control over external influences is empowering and helps relieve a sense of failure that we did not accomplish the task we set out to do.  Students feel frustrated by tests they think they have prepared for yet do poorly on, ACT scores, relationships with peers and arguments with parents.  Although the outcome was not what they desired to happen, the situation is done and cannot be changed.  I have found that many of my students have the same reaction that I did when they first hear this saying.  Despite their initial amusement at the saying, they are quick to repeat it to me at appropriate times in class now to remind me of the things I can control and the things beyond my control.